It has been 17 years since I kissed you on the forehead for the first time. I saw a smile on your face.
For two years, I felt as if I was dreaming, then time slowed down and I ceased to exist. We both entered another world slowly as I felt your hand reaching out for help. My fear was real, it was hard, and I lost all sense of who I was before you and started being WE. I learned to appreciate this world, of autism, through you. It was a pleasure to rediscover the joy of simple, clean things.
Over the years, I have commuted between these worlds and I confess to you that your world often acts as a therapy for me.
My journey between worlds continues, and I am striving to build a bridge between them, but I’m not sure how long I can continue doing this. I know I’m just getting started, but please be patient and have faith. Many will rely on it, so it needs to be durable.
While I am aware of how important it is for you that I respect your world and accept your uniqueness, I also understand that it will be difficult for you to be on your own.
My son, you are 17 today, 18 in a year. How wonderful that you are unaware of how many people will try to tell you that you are someone else after turning 18, how good that is.
These are my promises to you, and these are my wishes for you today:
To exist as a man for many who can’t see you and can’t feel you, to have friends that understand you, to have warmth around you and people with good hearts, when you’ll need some support and I won’t be around anymore.
My wish for you is to smile more and suffer less.
My immense love goes out to you and I would like to always feel your warm hand.
My dear son, have a wonderful birthday! May these two worlds find understanding and peace soon!
Last modified: October 18, 2023
